How not to be a pirate
by Scarlett Lawliet
Summary: Maya Leroux has broken apart from the Wolfsong pirates, in order to form her own crew. What adventures will she face? What challenges will this bring? And what the hell are these idiots doing! OC-centric. Rated for language and my bad attempt at writing fight scenes. Please be nice!
1. Chapter 1

**AN: ****Please review fairly! Flames will be used to roast marshmallows~ **

Falling into the sea was not the best way to start your own pirate crew.

Maya had attempted to epically jump off the wolfsong pirates ship, onto the dinghy. She'd missed, and ended up in the sea. Emmy had chucked her a towel.

Unfortunately, she'd left her hair stuff with Lady (Akira had secretly taken her straightners), and couldn't re-do her hair. This was a bad thing. She planned to buy some more in the first harbour she came to.

Maya's hair was red, and had an annoying tendency to 'poof', as Hannah had put it, so she wasn't the most attractive woman in the world when she landed on Mafemme island.

She'd found her way to the market, and had found a decent stall for hair stuff. She found some straighteners (thank god) and went to the stall owner, who was giving her an odd look.

"Erm, hello?" said Maya "Can I have these please?"

The owner laughed, and pointed behind Maya. A few men, armed with swords, were standing behind her.

"Excuse me," said one of the men, "You'll have to come with us."

Maya sighed. "What have I done?"

"You need an escort in public, you know."

"Why?"

Another man chuckled "You're a woman! Learn your place!"

Maya rolled her eyes. "Is that what this is about?"

The first man nodded. "Can you come with us?"

"Oh my- No, I can't."

"Why?"

"I don't want to- Look, mate, are you going to sell me this or not?"

The stall-holder looked stunned. "That-That'll be five hundred beri."

"Bit cheap, ain't it? Oh well, I shouldn't compl-"

Maya's sentence was cut off, as the three men decided to attack her with their swords. Maya stepped out of the way, still holding the straighteners.

"Oops. Sorry about the stall, mate. Three idiots in armour appear to have rammed into it."

The stallholder decided that this must be a Tuesday. He'd always hated Tuesdays.

"Why you little-" started the second man in armour

"Hi." Said Maya.

"I'll kill you!" said the man.

"That's nice. There's a dent in these, can I get a discount?

"Bitch!" He ran at Maya, sword raised.

Maya moved out the way again. "You guys really don't like me."

The first man stood up. "Excuse me, Miss?"

"Leroux. Maya Leroux."

"Right. We're going to have to arrest you."

"Why?"

"Because."

The second man stood up, cornering Maya. "You little bitch."

Maya put the straightners on the side. She sighed.

"I'm not going that easily. Luffy'd kill me."

"Luffy?" The third guard perked up, "As in, straw hat Luffy? You know him?"

"Sort of. Why?"

"What if he comes back to get us?"

The first guard waved his hand. "He won't."

"So," said Maya, "What the hell are you waiting for?"

The three guards looked at each other, nodded, and ran for Maya.

Suddenly, all three of them found their swords blocked by a wooden pole, wielded by Maya. Said pole had a curved blade on one end.

"God, don't hit a girl!" said Maya.

The third guard saw an opening and, after calculating the exact angle, took a swipe at Maya's left arm.

Maya, who was trying to get her weapon, a war scythe, away from the other two men's swords, didn't notice until it was too late. Maya cursed, drawing her scythe away from the swords and driving the point into the third guard's shoulder.

The other two guards instantly shoved him out of the way. The third guard ran down the road, away from Maya.

"Ouch! Swords aren't playthings, you know!" Said Maya, as she stepped out of the way of an attack from the first guard. She hit him on the head with the blunt end of her scythe, knocking him out.

"Well," said the second guard patronisingly, "you managed to hit people. That's bad. You need to go to prison and learn how to not hit people."

"I think you need to learn not to piss off people who can fight."

"Yeah, I think you need to learn that." He raised his sword, smirking. Maya winced. "Oh, don't worry! I'm only going to maim you! Then I can imprison you. Extra money, you see."

"Hey, look over there!"

"Over whe-argh!"

Maya had hit the guard in the face with the straightners.

"Well, that sucked." She turned to the stall owner. "I won't be buying these."

She turned away and walked down the road.

"My hair is such a mess. God, I need a brush."

Maya heard a scoff behind her. She stopped still.

"Sorry if I beat up your friend. Please don't kill me." Maya spoke quickly, gripping her scythe.

"I'm sorry, darling," Maya felt a hand on her shoulder, "Can I just borrow you for a tiiiny bit?"

Maya clenched her teeth. "What do you want with me?"

"I just want to clean your hair up! Oh, by the way, the way you fought those three was FABULOUS!"

"What?" She turned round.

The man behind her wasn't quite an okama, but he did look like he'd made an effort to look feminine. He had medium-length hair, which was, for some reason, blue. He wore a top that Nami would have been happy wearing, that only covered the chest area. Maya could only tell he was male due to his lack of boobs.

He stuck out his hand. "My name's Cabo."

"Maya."

"I know."

Maya drew back her hand. "How?"

"You were looking SO fabulous when those guards were trying to arrest you, guys like that are so unfabulous, I just had to watch! And, DARLING! How do you work that thing?" He waved a hand at Maya's war scythe.

"Practise."

"Mmn." He noticed the gash on Maya's arm. "Darling! We MUST get that cut cleaned up!" He beckoned Maya. "Come to my house. I'll sort out your hair AND your arm."

"I'll be fine."

"Darling, I simply can't stand you looking like that. I'm not going to attack you, look." He raised his hands, to show he didn't have a weapon.

"How do I know you didn't eat a devil fruit?"

"Darling, I would go stand in water, but I'd ruin my shoes."

Maya gave Cabo a 'really?' look.

"What other choice do you have? There ARE stronger guards, you know. Those three are the village idiots."

"Good point."

Cabo grabbed Maya's wrist. "Follow me."

"Follow you wh-ack!" Maya said, as Cabo started running towards his (her?) house, almost dislocating Maya's arm in the process.


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Sorry for taking ages, I was on holiday and had no internet T-T. So yeah, here's the next chapter! Enjoy~**

"Oh my goodness!" said Cabo, closing the door behind him, "Why on earth did you jump off of the ship?"

Maya shrugged. She had just finished recounting her story to Cabo, and they had arrived at his house. "I wanted to look cool."

Cabo sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Do you often do things like this?"

"Like what?" Maya jumped onto the kitchen table, sitting on the edge and swinging her legs.

"Like jumping off boats."

"That was me trying to look cool."

"And failing, I'm assuming. Darling, I know you have to be fabulous, but try not to kill yourself."

"I wasn't gonna!"

"How did you get out of the water, anyway?"

"Don't have a devil fruit."

"Why not?"

"Given my luck, I'd probably get the Useless-Useless fruit or something."

Cabo rolled his eyes. "We've got to do something about that hair." Cabo pulled Maya off the table and dragged her into a side room, clearly some sort of dressing room, with mirrors on the walls.

"Sit." said Cabo, indicating a chair in front of a dressing table. "So, darling," said Cabo, placing his own straightners on a heated plate, "What did you do before you became a pirate?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Alright," said Cabo, getting out some kind of squirty water bottle. Maya sighed, and stopped paying attention to what Cabo was doing.

"What about you?"

"What about me, darling?"

"What's your life story?"

Cabo smiled. "It's rather long."

Maya sighed. "What else am I gonna do while you play with my hair?"

"Very well. Close your eyes."

Maya closed her eyes, and Cabo sprayed her hair with something she'd never seen before. "I was born on this island."

"Then what's with the clothes? They appear to be rather strict on gender."

"I was getting to that. I've always been fascinated by women. In fact, I'd prefer to be one. When I was younger, I used to steal my mother's clothes, play dress up. You know what I mean?"

"Yeah."

"Didn't you do that?"

"I don't want to talk about my mother."

"Alright. I made these," he indicated his clothes, "They don't allow you to wear certain clothes after the age of sixteen."

"How old are you?"

"Eighteen. What about you, darling?"

"Seventeen."

"You're a pretty accomplished fighter for a seventeen-year-old. Especially for a woman"

"Hey!"

"What? I was complimenting you! Women don't get as much training as men!"

"Who says?"

"Our king!"

"Well they do where I come from."

"Where do you come from?"

"East Blue."

"Oh. That is quite a way."

"This is the only island I've visited that has such a dumb system." Maya sighed, crossing her arms.

"Stop moving! And I don't like it, but what can I do?"

"I don't care. Look, who is this King of yours?"

"Few know his name. Even fewer have seen his face. He's supposed to be gallant and chivalrous, like a knight."

"Sounds like a fairytale."

"Most say he's eaten a devil fruit."

"Well, how do they know if they've never seen his face?"

"Rumours travel fast here. Besides, there are zillions of devil fruits. He could have this 'useless-useless fruit' that you mentioned."

"I made that up. As far as I know, that isn't a fruit."

"Have you ever seen someone with a fruit?"

"Yeah. Practically everyone on my previous ship had one. They were all really cool."

"Did they offer you a fruit?"

"Didn't want one. I follow my own path, not some stupid 'all pirates must have a devil fruit' rule."

"Hmmn." said Cabo. "You can open your eyes now, darling." He seemed very pleased with himself.

Cabo hadn't done much with Maya's hair, just pulled it back and put it into pigtails, but it still looked pretty cool.

"Thanks." Maya stood up. "Look, I've got nowhere to go but a stupid dinghy, and you seem to be the only half decent person within miles. Could you-"

"Of course I'll help you, darling! Friends have to stick together, right?"

"Well, acquaintances. I barely know you."

"Same difference, darling. "

"Is not. Look, I'm only doing this 'cause I've got nowhere else to go. I'll probably go looking for my old crew tomorrow."

"But don't you need-"

"I've got money."

Cabo sighed. "Alright. Come through here." He grabbed Maya's wrist and dragged her back into the kitchen.

"Hey! Where are we going?"

"I need to see to your arm."

Maya grabbed her wrist back "It'll be fine. And what's with the sudden change in behaviour?"

Cabo looked at his feet. "You'll see."

Someone hit Maya on the back of the head, and everything went black.


	3. Chapter 3

Maya had deducted something.

She was an absolute idiot.

Seriously? This Cabo guy must've been some kind of serial kidnapper.

She still hadn't opened her eyes. It seemed that she was alone. She was lying on a cold, stone floor. A dungeon? She'd never been to a place that was this dramatic.

Curiosity overwhelmed her, and she opened her eyes. Her suspicions about a dungeon were correct. To her left was a wall of iron bars, with a gate. Standing in front of the gate was a rather burly-looking guard.

"Excuse me?"

The guard said nothing

"Oi! Guard person? Hello?"

She stood up. "Is this some kind of messed up prison?"

"You are being held prisoner for crimes against this kingdom."

"Such as?"

"Going out in public without an escort. Wearing men's clothing. Resisting arrest. Piracy."

Maya sighed. "Cabo was right. This kingdom is messed up."

"Do not speak about Prince Cabo with such disrespect."

"Prince?"

"The son of our king, his majesty Prince Cabo, knocked you out and handed you in."

Maya kicked the floor. She _was _an idiot. "So, how long do I have to spend here?"

"The rest of your life."

Maya groaned. "I didn't do anything."

"Yes you did."

Maya checked her pockets. Thankfully they hadn't checked her for weapons. The guard was facing away from her, so she quickly assembled the weapon and hit the guard over the head with the handle, knocking him out. "Sorry." She said, grabbing the keys from his belt and letting herself out.

"So, they're all obsessed with their king. There should be a throne room somewhere." She ran up the stairs, out of the dungeon area. She reached to move her fringe out of the way, when she remembered that Cabo had pinned it back. "Thank god for that." She said, running down the corridor, when she ran into something.

It was the third guard from earlier. He gasped, grabbing the handle of his sword (which was in his belt).

"It's you."

"You noticed." said Maya, standing up and dusting herself off. "Please don't kill me."

"I-I'm not afraid of you."

"I noticed."

"I-I'll kill you!"

"Yes. Yes you will."

_"You know, Maya, an ally can be the world's deadliest weapon."_

_"Why, Emmy?"_

_"Because you choose your allies."_

Maya blinked.

"Are you OK?"

"Yeah, sorry. Random flashback. Hey, listen, neither of us are very happy with the situation we're in at the moment."

"Yeah, so?"

"Why don't we team up?"

"You're one of Cabo's prey. Shouldn't you have learnt to 'trust no-one' or whatever."

"Oh, I trust you. Plus I know I can beat you."

"I-I wasn't at full power!" He moved to pull the sword out of it's place.

Maya laughed. "You remind me of someone I know."

"A pirate?"

"Yeah, a pirate. He wasn't the best at fighting physically, but when he found his way, he became a sort-of legend."

"Oh. But if you know I'm not very good at fighting, why do you want an alliance with me?"

Maya laughed again. "And you've just revealed that you can't fight. Well done."

"Why do you want to work with me?"

"I can't stand leaving people alone."

"Why?"

"'Cause. Anyway, what's your name?"

"Farroh. You're Maya, right?"

"Yup. So, is there some kind of throne room?"

"Yeah. I'll show you." he gulped. "You do realise I'm kind of betraying everyone I know?"

"Yup. Look, believe me, you're doing the right thing."

"Look, I'm just going along with this because there's a very scary woman who wants me to."

"But, if I'm scary, even though I'm a woman, the theory must be wrong. You get me?"

Farroh tilted his head to the side. "I always knew it was wrong. I didn't need anyone to tell me that."

Maya sighed. "Are we just going to sit here complaining all day, or are we gonna do something?"

"Yeah, the throne room's this way."

Elsewhere, the king and his son were talking.

"Daddy, don't worry about the next girl."

"Cabo, I trust you. You say that she beat the three?"

"Yes, Daddy, but I've seen how she fights! I can beat her."

Cabo knelt in front of his father's throne.

"I think that-I-I know that I can beat her."

The king reached out from his throne, keeping his face in the shadows.

"You will beat her." he grabbed Cabo's hair. "Or you know what happens." he yanked at Cabo's hair.

"Yes, Daddy." Cabo swallowed. "I'll beat her."

"Good." The king released Cabo's hair. "Now go check on her."

"But Farroh just went-"

"I don't care about some stupid Guard. I want verification. Now go!"

"Yes, Daddy." Cabo stood up, and walked out the door. There was one way to solve this. He knew what he was going to do.


End file.
